On Kate Spade... what we need to talk about while leaving a little sparkle wherever we go

When I was 13 years old my Mom, after much begging and pleading and my promises of good grades, clean rooms, walked dogs etc purchased me my first "real" bag. It was brown with pink and white polka dots, purchased from the "big girl" counter at Nordstrom - and it was Kate Spade. 

I know I am not the only woman in her early 30's to have this experience. The iconic brand is one I've carried throughout my life, I've carried her bags to the first day of high school, graduations, birthdays, funerals, galas and to the movies. I've purchased them as gifts to make someone smile. The quirky and sparkly brand reflected its creator, the true Kate Spade. When I heard of her suicide this morning, it hit me pretty hard. Here was someone I had never met who apparently "had it all" - money, success, a family yet that wasn't enough. She was fighting a battle none of us knew about.

I have to hope that she knew of the impact the sayings, the glitter, the "pop - fizz- clink" of it all had on a generation of women. Regardless of your opinion of the styles, you have to admit and respect the impact she has had. She personally wore big glasses, bright colors and had a pretty badass attitude (at least from the press and media I have seen of her over the years) - something that I always loved about her. 

While today I carried a Louis Vuitton neverfull to work, (also a very significant bag in my life) I can't help but think back to that brown polka dot bag that started it all for me. I want to thank Kate for always inspiring women to "leave a little sparkle" where ever they go - and hope that her death can somehow be turned into a teachable and inspiring moment for our generation

WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH.- We have to learn to be kinder to each other. We have to learn to support each other, not just when things are covered in glitter, but when they are dark and dirty and uncomfortable. Stop the glamor of being too busy or too important for someone. Reach out one extra time, ask how someone is really doing, and maybe we can make a little difference - while leaving a little sparkle where ever we go. 

If you are reading this, and you ever need someone to talk to - ever- please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I always want this to be a safe space for anyone who needs it.

 If you or anyone you know needs someone to talk to, please contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline via web: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call them at 1-800-273-8255 – it is 100% free and available 24 hours a day 365 days a year.

Rest peacefully, Kate. 

XOXO | SLL

Farmers Market Finds with Gozon Boutique!

There is no question that I am addicted to online shopping (specifically women’s trendy clothes via my favorite online boutique gozon.com), maxi dresses (even better if they have pockets) farmers markets and easy weekends.  So imagine my delight in sharing ALL FOUR with you!

(just click this photo to shop this look!)

If you have no idea what I am talking about or don’t follow me on Instagram (hey! Why don’t you?) I’ve partnered with Gozon.com to bring you a few of my favorite pieces from their newest release, as well as walk you through my farmer’s market process!  And let me tell you… it’s a process.

There are a few things you MUST have ready.

1.       Shopping tote – you don’t want to be the one asking for a plastic bag (I promise)

2.       Sunglasses – its bright out there!

3.       Sunhat – protect that skin girl! 

4.       Comfy yet cute clothes for walking around in (and snapping that cute insta!)

A few other things before you head out… for sure bring cash. You can always get a better deal and while most merchants take cards, some don’t.  I personally love supporting local businesses which is one of the reasons I try to get as much as I can at the farmers market. I love getting fresh flowers, my produce and even some of my household goods knowing it's supporting someone locally. This is the same reason I love supporting Gozon, they are headquartered right here in Southern California. In addition to their offices being here, they work closely with other LOCAL business to get the newest styles.

(just click this photo to shop this look!)

My next tip is going EARLY! I love being the one of the first people there in the mornings. It’s so peaceful and relaxing. I also like going before the day heats up, like last week when this black maxi dress was the perfect choice, it was so hot! This dress is so versatile you could really wear it anywhere. It’s an amazing quality of soft cotton, has pockets (have I said how much I love dresses with pockets?!?) and is long enough for my tallness. I love how all of their pieces are true to size.  You don’t have to order a medium in one thing and an XL in another. I’ve been really impressed with the affordability of each item as well.

So once you’ve gotten there early, in your cute maxi dress and hit the ATM… what’s next?

I like to go in a pretty systematic order so that things in my bag don’t get all smushed! I told you this was a process! First I start with the more hearty produce, the stuff I want at the bottom of my bag. I’ve also been known to grab some fresh pizza dough or cheeses at the start. So once I have my onions, zucchini and stuff like that I head to the more delicate things. I ALWAYS get tomatoes and berries when they are in season. On my way out of the market I stop to get fresh flowers, usually from the same vendor. I love having flowers in my home as much as possible – they cheer me up daily.

Once I finish up at the market I generally head home, drop off the perishables and pick up my husband for some brunch. Last weekend I added in a quick change to this AMAZING striped dress because I wasn’t sure if we’d have time to come back home before heading to a friend’s BBQ. This dress will be a staple for me this summer as its super easy to dress up or down. Add on a statement necklace for date night with some wedges – or with a cute pair of sandals for a BBQ like I did!

(just click this photo to shop this look!)

(just click this photo to shop this look!)

Be sure to check out their website for all of your online shopping needs (I would sign up for their newsletter too –  you’ll want to be the first to know when new styles are released! I seriously have been so happy with every one of my orders, and lucky for you they’ve provided me with a coupon code for all my followers! Just enter BUBBLESANDBONES15 at check out.

XOXO | SLL

This post was sponsored by gozon.com, all opinions are completely my own based on my experience. This post contains affiliate links. 

trust your neighbors, but brand your cattle...

Have you ever heard the phrase "trust your neighbor, but brand your cattle"?

No? Well, now you have! 

I saw this pop up on a t-shirt as one of those facebook ads and it really got me thinking about what is currently going on in my life, this blog and what I want everything to be moving forward. I know, inspiration comes from the weirdest places right?

I started this blog as a platform to share my tips, tricks, and ideas with a larger audience. I was constantly being asked these kinds of things, so I thought why not share them all in one spot. Don't get me wrong, that's what I've been doing and what I will continue to do...but... I lost sight of what I wanted this to be, and who I am. 

So where does the stolen cattle part come in?

You see, I got wrapped up in an end goal and forgot to enjoy the process. I thought I needed experts and gurus and people with many more followers to tell me what to do. I trusted many of the wrong people, who eventually stole my cattle... not following?

I started to listen to people who I thought were my friends/collaborators/contributors (bad neighbors) and the ended up doing me wrong (stealing my cattle), instead of trusting my gut. My instinct was that I was on a good path and that I just needed to stay my course. But I totally forgot to listen to her, and instead was looking for greener pastures. (ok I promise to cut down on the cow references soon...)

The past few months you may or may not have noticed has had some different types of content from me, some I love (been pinching myself with some of the brands I have been able to work with!) and some I cringe at.  I've been spending a ton of time helping others build their brands, Instagrams, blogs etc for free- because I thought they would do the same. They didn't, nor ever had plans to. I was focusing on promoting other people instead of myself, I thought if I do this for them, they will surely do this for me if/when I need them? Wrong. 

Meanwhile, my super genuine and awesome friends (good neighbors)and collaborators were feeling left out and isolated from me - this I am very sorry for. I was putting my eggs in the wrong basket (cows in the wrong herd?... sorry, sorry...)

Don't worry - I eventually pulled my head out of my ass got my cows back and am feeling more inspired than ever! Notice how you've had a fresh blog 3 days in a row now? 

Dom helped me completely redesign our guest room into the new Bubble & Bones headquarters (ironically enough I type this from my new desk which sits right on top of a beautiful cowhide rug). I have a place to write and create content that feels inspiring and right, something I am very grateful for. Full details on the new space coming soon! 

I hope this blog inspires some of you to trust your gut, stay your course. You're doing awesome. 

XOXO | SLL 

Sunday blues & panic attacks.

Hello gorgeous friends! 

I hope you all had a most fabulous Sunday and are feeling rested and recharged for the week! But chances are you have a serious case of the Sunday blues (as I frequently do!). And thats ok. Its really really ok. 

Life has a cycle to it and often our ideas and ideals don't quite line up to the cycles of the world, we just need to be prepared and to create the lives we want so that our natural cycles can align with the cycles of the world as well. 

I had a really really bad day today. And a really really good day. 

I had two panic attacks, yep two. And you know what? They were both completely 100% avoidable! (disclosure, I've had panic attacks and been diagnosed with a panic disorder for about 15 years now... and been through tons of therapy and different medications to deal with them - so when I say they are avoidable I feel they are situation induced, situations I know better than to put myself into)

 They both stemmed from my eternal and internal self doubt. I like many others suffer from never feeling like enough. My house wasn't clean enough, big enough or designed to perfection, I wasn't skinny enough, my make up wasn't right and I had no cute outfits. (sounding familiar yet?) 

And you know what? They were both completely unfounded. I know that doesn't help in the moment but I am hoping to use in as a learning tool for myself in the future. 

My house was fine, I had a cute outfit (and ended up not shooting with the photographer anyway) - but you know what I ended up doing? 

Having a most fabulous evening with my husband dining on Italian food al fresco! We even stopped for cold pressed juices to start our week off on a good foot. 

I hope that these kind of blogs reach the people they should and that you all know we are in this together. Keep your chins up badasses, you are all fighting your own amazing battles and I am so proud of all of you. 

Dont be afraid of Monday, I'm here with you. 

Cheers! 

XOXO | SLL 

Through time with diligence...

So depending on how well you know me you may or may not know that I originally started Bubbles & Bones back in 2013. I had a good run at it for about 60 days and then my posting kinda tapered off... Recently on Facebook memories, I was reminded of a post I wrote inspired by my grandmother and great-grandmother. While that post screams of 25-year-old immaturity (I'm sorry for what I said about yoga pants), and is not at all the message I wanted to share,  I knew that I wanted to share with my new readers a little about them.

They were the ultimate icons of style and class. Their self-worth, perseverance, and confidence never came from another, it was an internal fire that I hope burns a little inside me as well. 

My grandmother and great-grandmother (and their husbands) lived life so fully that most people don't believe me when I share stories of them. Partying at the palace in Monaco, speed boats down the Riviera, movie stars and royalty as friends and more. But their lives weren't always like that. 

Before the speedboats and the Royals came extreme heartache and tragedy - as did many other global citizens of the time. World War II brought war to the small island that my family was living on (Java). My grandmother only knew her fathers face from a photograph until she was 3 years old, as he was detained at the male camp and my great-grandmother and grandmother at the female camp. They were held in concentration camps located in the remote jungle Boven-Digoel by the Japanese during WWII - as they lived in the Dutch East Indies running their printing empire at the time. They lost everything, including parents, siblings, businesses, homes and more. But again, they didn't let that stop them. The three of them rebuilt their lives and lived them to the fullest. 

Our family crest has the words "door tyd en vlyt" on it - which translates from Dutch to English as "Through time with diligence" (if you've seen me in a bikini you know that this is incorporated into one of my tattoos). They never let their situations define them and worked diligently for the rest of their lives, to live their best lives.  

Consistently pulled together and polished, they oozed style and class. My grandmother more of a rebellious spirit was one for furs and embellishments, yet rooted her style with the classics. Hermes, Chanel, custom couture made for her by her best friend, and famous Dutch designer Edgar Vos.

A young grandmother preparing for a day on the slopes (or more likely Après-ski!)

My great-grandmother, having lived through losing everything during the war (and getting it back again) was more conservative in her style and lifestyle. Most of the photographs I have of her are in elegant gowns or hosting a lavish party, not a hair, nail or button out of place. She was an incredible hostess and cook. She was made up at all times and it wasn't until she became physically unable to that her hair went uncolored or not styled in elaborate combs. 

My great-grandparents at a black tie gala. 

My great-grandmother passed away when I was 5 years old, but thankfully I do have some memories of her. My grandmother was one of the most influential people in my life and unfortunately passed away way too soon. I was able to spend at least one day a week with her until her death when I was 15. Her loss is still felt deeply by my mom and myself. The photographs I have of both of them are some of my (and my moms) most prized possessions. Each photo of them is a complete story. A fairy tale of sorts. I find myself in awe of the lives they lived and often daydream filling in the gaps I don't know. 

One of my goals for 2018, and through life,  is to be more like them. To be consistent in my life, my style, my demeanor. To pass through life diligently and with purpose. 

XOXO | SLL 

Thanksgiving Planning!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Can you believe its just a few days away? I'm not hosting this year - but, I thought I would share with you a simple spreadsheet that has brought some sanity to my Thanksgivings of years past! 

Image via Lonny Magazine

I created this simple spreadsheet a few years ago,  Its a calendar, a reminder system, a shopping list and sanity saver all in one! 

What I do first is get a final(ish) head count - it is much easier to plan when you know how many people you will be serving (shh... then I add like 4 more to make sure we have leftovers!).

When we host, I don't do a ton of the Thanksgiving cooking as my husband is a magnificent cook and cooks a killer turkey! So my job is generally logistics, taste tester and baker!

So...You can imagine how big of a deal it is when someone (oopsy) forgets to buy that one ingredient that makes the dish... never again with this list! 

Our next step, my husband and I decide on a menu for the day. I go through the recipes and pull out the ingredients necessary for each dish. I  then enter it into this spreadsheet with the quantity needed. 

Next step, I go through the kitchen and see what we have already in our pantry - if I have the ingredient I leave the line black and put an X in that collum. If I cant find it, the line goes to red (really helps when at the store).

While grocery shopping I then mark each thing off as I put it in the cart to make sure I don't miss anything (never again!!!). 

I also use this list to keep me organized while preparing, I like to include what "special" items I will need for setting the table so that I can start pulling those out and washing them if needed a few days before. Since we have a pretty small kitchen and just one oven its been really helpful to schedule oven time so that everything is done when we needed it to be! 

So there you have it! Hope everyone has a most wonderful holiday with their friends and families! Do you have any tips and tricks to make your Turkey day run smoother? 

Want a copy of this spreadsheet to get you started? Just sign up for the email list and leave a comment on this post and I will send you an excel file to get you started! 

XOXO | SLL 

Lets talk home screens!

I cant think of a more personal thing today then our cell phone home screens! I mean you carry it with you at all times, you're probably the only one that uses it, and you look at approximately 9 million times per day. Why not make your's something that brings you joy each time you look at it? 

Enter my personal home screen...

I get it... it's not for everyone. We all know there are two very very different types of cell phone users. Are you a right or a left kind of person? If you are more of the 989084577 notification variety, this probably isn't your style! 

Image via: https://digitalsynopsis.com/design/two-kinds-of-people-illustrations/

My husband thinks I am crazy for doing this, but he is also the guy who has pizza delivery apps under "productivity" (I guess he's kind of right). But so many people who have seen my phone have squealed with delight!

I cannot take solo credit for this beauty, after first discovering color-coded folders thanks to The Home Edit - I quickly became completely obsessed! Now, it does take some getting used to I will 100% admit to that. However, I do find myself using my phone (I hope!) more efficiently. I use the search bar, I use Siri - and after a bit, you just know by instinct where everything is... 

If you're interested in doing this - set aside a good 30 minutes - I happened to do mine during a crazy bout of insomnia at about 2am. Start by sorting like by like, just group reds with reds, blues with blues etc.

Depending on the number of apps you have you can get really specific with your rainbow of folders. I decided to have multiple pages of each color in one folder, but I have seen some screens where people extend the whole screen of the phone with folders. Then just pick your favorite emojis and viola -a home screen full of eye candy! 

I kept my messages out since I am using them all day long - as well the phone (because thats what we're actually supposed to use these things for right?), email, safari and pandora for quick selection. 

I would love to know how everyone else organizes their phones - are you a notification clearer or are you 578764987 unread messages from 8th grade kind of person? 

Tell me in the comments below! 

XOXO | SLL

At peace with where you are...

I recently found myself lost in thought after reading a job posting. Now don't freak out it's not something I would ever do, nor am qualified to do, hell it's not something I even WANT to do. (Move to Dubai and work with racehorses) But, I found myself thinking things like "if I was younger", "If I was single", "If I was..." and while my husband would absolutely sell everything and follow me anywhere in the world, this I know without question - it honestly surprised me. 

I can honestly say have never ever questioned myself like that, I have never felt that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do, hell everyone knows I tend to do things a little differently. The more I continued to think about it I couldn't help but get a bit sad, I think I just officially said goodbye to my young adulthood. I am no longer in a "pickup and leave" place in life.

But then, after a bit more introspection,  this feeling of overwhelming peace came over me.  I knew without questions that at this exact moment, I am right where I need to be. It's not because I am afraid, it's not because I am settling, it's not because I am living in my comfort zone, its because I have created the life that I want. 

We get so caught up in the whats new, whats next that I think we often forget to enjoy and be present at the current moment. My hope for you is that you take a minute today and just be thankful for where you are right now, even if it's not your end goal, even if it's not your today goal, you got here - right now, you got to here. 

If you think I've totally lost it and all you can think of is the gazillion things you need to do "make it" (hell, even the gazillion things you need to do just to get through today) I've put together a list of a few things that you can quickly do to center yourself and be at peace where you are right now. 

1. Connect - shoot a text, call just to say I love you, hold someone's hand if you can - even if just for a moment

2. Write a "done" list - include all the badass things you've already done today

3. Send some love - write (yes with pen and paper!) your bff a card, or that thankyou note you've been putting off. There is something so calming about handwriting a letter.

4. Pay it forward - sounds counter-intuitive but for me, giving makes me more thankful for what I already have.

5. Get off the internet - (...well maybe after you've finished this post...) I truly believe comparison is the thief of joy these days, stop comparing yourself to someone's highlight reel online - be present for yourself, and the peace will follow!

  XOXO| SLL 

Words hurt. Online communication struggles.

Words hurt. 

Its easy to forget when we are hiding behind a keyboard or an iphone. 

I experienced this first-hand yesterday when an offhanded comment really really hurt my feelings. It totally wasn't a big deal, at all. But it did. 

Wouldn't it be lovely if we could all just shake things off like Bones, take a nap and get over it?

The person reached out and apologized (and so did a couple other people who saw the comment and thought it was a little off), I thought all was done and good...

But then when I realized that the person who hurt my feelings, had no idea why I was hurt, I lashed out and found myself being the person I never want to be... the person that argues with someone on the internet. I wanted her to understand me. It never ends well arguing on the internet,  no one is ever happy and it is ultimately a total waste of time and energy.

I became engrossed on proving my point when there was no need or reason to. I am pretty sure she was doing the same. I was hurt, she was sorry but it just kept going and going.  No one was right, no one was wrong. But we both wanted to be right. 

I got a headache, I had this pit in my stomach and knew that it was all related to this exchange. I knew that I was not a totally innocent victim in this, I too fed into the miscommunication and the need to be right. But it felt like something bigger. 

On a deeper level, I started to worry that I had unintentionally offended or hurt anyone, ever. Like ever ever.  You know that rabbit hole of self-doubt and fear you go through when you feel a bit wounded? Yeah, that was me x100 last night.

What if I offended someone that had welcomed me into their home with by posting about how I like my guest room? What if I offended my friend who had given me a shirt by posting about a different shirt? What if I didn't hear someone say hello to me and I didn't respond? What if, what if, what if? 

So what can we do about it?

Finallyyyyyyyyyyy I was able to snap myself out of it, with the help of a good friend who reminded me that I am indeed not everyone's cup of tea, AND THAT IS A GOOD THING. 

It is hard enough communicating face to face with someone you know on a deeply intimate level, so why do we just assume that others - who have no context of our lives- know what we are trying to share in 180 characters or less?

Who are they to know what we really mean when we type our friends an inside joke on their Facebook walls? What we are trying to gain when we "vague-book"? When we use slang specific to our generation, geographic location or other demographic?

How's anyone to know our intention behind our words?

I have decided that the only way that anyone could possibly understand me, is to stay true and authentic to myself and my message. By staying true to my message people will know what I mean even if I might misspeak or mistype. They will get to know me as more than hands behind a keyboard.  Additionally, to further allow my audience to know my intention, I am choosing to take this as a big fat learning experience and working harder to always "say what I mean, and mean what I say" online and offline. 

I would really like to open up this topic for conversation with others that use a lot of words on the internet - and I use alot... (my Grammarly app told me it scanned 14700 words between Monday and Tuesday of this week - side note if you don't have that installed on your computer and you write anything at all on your computer - get it. Game. Changer.).

How do you get over these communication hurdles?

How do you keep your voice consistent, understood, and strong?

How do we get over ourselves more often and simply say "I'm sorry"? How do we know when to push the subject vs back off and agree to disagree? 

XOXO | (from a slightly discouraged) SLL