ab·sence
ˈabsəns/
noun
the state of being away from a place or person.
an occasion or period of being away from a place or person
.the nonexistence or lack of.
Hello, my lovely readers, it has been a while, hasn't it? I've been away from you, away from here and really away from everything. The word absence is really the only word that explains where I've been and what I've been doing. All three definitions are applicable to my recent state. Hope you're ready for a long one...
You see, on Thursday, December 7th I left for Las Vegas planning on several days of boots, big hair and rodeo for the National Finals Rodeo. A trip I look forward to all year long. My mom, step-dad, step-brother and I go together every year. We drink too much, we spend too much money and we eat at PF Chang's (long long story) a few too many times. It's our "thing".
My mom and I boarded an awesome little flight right from Carlsbad, checked into our hotel and we were just about to grab some lunch and a glass of wine when we got the text... Fire.
You see, we have a bit of a history with fires...
In 2003, my mom and I worked for several days evacuating other peoples horses in what would eventually be called the "Cedar Fire" which burned over 280,000 acres in San Diego County. 2,232 homes were burned, 15 people lost their lives and the fire burned for 12 days. We learned first hand how fast and unpredictable fire can be, we also learned how important it was to have an evacuation plan in place. Thankfully during that time our home and horses were not under any evacuation orders and we were simply able to help others. I remember to this day remarking to my mom that I felt like we were in one of those bad disaster movies as we traveled down the freeway with not a single car on our side of the freeway... and bumper to bumper traffic heading the other direction. I can honestly say that that week shaped my view of a lot of things in life, it also gave me a pretty intense fear and anxiety regarding wildfires in southern California.
In 2007 I was heavily campaigning for the title of Congress Queen and October of 2007 found both my mom and me in Columbus, Ohio. I had secured the title of Pacific Coast Quarter Horse Association Queen and was giving it my best run! October 2007 also found San Diego heavily engulfed in flames. The "Witch" fires would claim two lives, injured 55 firefighters, burn 247,800 acres, and over 1,200 homes.
Having first-hand experience from 2003 intensified every emotion during that time. You can imagine the feeling of helplessness being thousands of miles away and hearing that indeed your house and horses are in a mandatory evacuation zone. In between my testing, interviews, and lots and lots of tears - I would catch national news coverage (social media wasn't was what it is today!) to check for updates. I remember discussing with family back home which horses would go first, which horses would stay if we ran out of time, and I vividly remember talking to my sister on the phone and her saying to me "ok, I'm standing in your room - what do you want me to get?". The overwhelming feeling of loss hit instantly before anything even happened. Thankfully our home and horses survived the worst of it, and I remember at about 3 pm on coronation night looking at my mom, taking a deep breath and saying "you think I still have time to get my hair done?". I still can't believe we pulled it off.
The next few Octobers came and went without issue, and the fear of fire while always there begins to slip away a little bit each season it doesn't come. But that's the thing about fire... you never know when it will happen.
My next experience with fire came in May of 2014. You see... I thought I was smart. I thought I would remove as much stress from my WEDDING DAY. I thought I would have a small private ceremony, on a Wednesday in San Fransisco. Close to my husbands family, easy for mine to get to.... the 21 of us would have a quiet day with a private ceremony and a beautiful dinner. The weather would be nice and cool (my biggest fear was being hot in my dress!). Ohhhh how mother nature had other plans for us.
San Fransico hit over 100 degrees that day, actual record-breaking temperatures. The same was going on in San Diego. Mid-morning amidst all the wedding prep, hair, make up etc.... we got the text. Fire.
A superstorm of 20 fires would join together and burn over 26,000 acres in North San Diego County. The Coco's fire (closest to us) would burn from our wedding day May 14th, 2014 until May 22nd. The fires would claim one life and over 65 structures.
I was devastated. I knew that all day I was going to be distracted, and to be totally honest - I cannot believe that my most amazing friend and photographer, Heather, was able to capture the photos she did that day. If I wasn't on the phone, I was texting, if I wasn't texting I was looking at local news and the cycle went over and over again. Its a true testament to my most amazing husband that he put up with me that day.
Literally, everyone in my family was there. My evacuation plan was WITH me. Everyone did their best to keep me distracted, fed, champagne'd and we tried our best to continue on with the day.